BREAK UP WITH A MARRIED MAN AT WORK - NOW!
Kids and teenagers would usually see the school as their second home. Once they grow older and get started with their career, the workplace becomes their 'new' second home. Employees would typically spend one-third of their day (sometimes even more) to manage the daily workload in the office. Giving a big chunk of your daily life at work would require you to interact with your co-workers, whether you like it or not.
The hours spent with colleagues give the opportunity to know them better. Therefore, it is not impossible that an employee can fall in love with another employee. Sadly, there are a number of women who get romantically linked and attracted to a married man at work.
Whitney Houston's 'Saving All My Love For You' says it all. From the thrill of having stolen moments - up to the emotional stress - having an affair with a married fellow worker will always end you up in a bad situation. The earlier you can end the relationship, the faster you can redeem yourself. If you are looking for some advice on how you can recover from this kind of romance, here are some tips that can help.
Show some love for yourself.
Instead of looking for someone to fill the love you think is missing, learn how to put yourself first. Being in love with a married man requires you to share the love and attention that he has to give to his own family. Know that you deserve to be treated like his wife, where you are the priority. Being an adulteress, you will be the last person that he can attend to.
Giving yourself some love will make you realize your worth. You don't deserve to get divided attention with his family, that you have to hide your complicated relationship in the office, and being the homewrecker (and get accused as a gold digger). Know that you can build your own family, the freedom to show your affection in public, and enjoy being with your partner without worrying to get caught being with him.
You can show some love for yourself by putting your needs first before anyone else. You don't need anyone to provide for your needs, and you are a strong independent woman. Remind yourself that you don't need him to feel loved and secure. Learn to live a life that will inspire you to find true happiness.
Focus on your own relationship/s.
If you are a married woman and involved with another married man in the office, isn't it time to focus more on your own family? Especially if you have kids, remind yourself that you are at work to support your family and their future. Realize that you are working hard to get a better life or to pursue a career, not to make things more complicated.
If you are in a relationship with another man (but not yet married to him), think of all the good things he has done for you and his positive traits. Picture your future with him, where you can be legally married, build your own family, and express love without hesitation.
If you are single, this is the best time to give your attention to your family. Do the things you miss with them, like having a staycation or dining out in the family's restaurant. Shift your attention to the relationships that truly matter and make you happy.
Point out the downsides.
After knowing your worth, you should realize that you don't need a relationship with a married man. Point out his faults, evaluate the things that you can't get from him, and prepare to discuss the issue. The key to doing this successfully is by defining the main problem of why you need to break up with him.
At some point, it will affect your productivity at work, especially if he is your superior. Be prepared for the consequences, but ending the affair is more important. Picture yourself being in the worst possible scenario that can happen, and it should be enough reason to walk away from the relationship.
Avoid an office scandal!
Breaking up with a married man in the office through SMS (including messaging apps) or even on the company email is like sending a joke to a colleague. He can just treat it as a normal day, and go back home to his own family after work. Show that you are serious about leaving him by talking in private - and never do it in the office. This will avoid creating an office scandal and could involve shouting, screaming, and cursing.
If he offers to break up with his wife and promises to have a divorce with her, consider finding a way to get to the other side of the story or analyze everything that he has said about their relationship status. Consider checking their social media accounts, where it can give an idea about what they are going through. One way of doing it discreetly is by borrowing another colleague's phone that is connected with your boyfriend's wife on social media.
Talking calmly in a private place can help you think of the right words to say, and allow you to express your feelings freely. Make sure to point out in your own perspective why you need to end the affair.
Request for a transfer or resign from work.
Especially if you work in the same department, request a transfer to a different location or to another team. Spending more time with him at work gives him the opportunity to get your attention every time you show up.
Check your company's HR portal for the list of internal vacancies. In case that there is no suitable fit for you, find local classifieds for job openings. This is the best time to pursue the career you've always wanted, and be successful at it. Getting busy chasing the career you fancied can help you shift the attention. Be more open to career opportunities or you can be your own boss! Start the business you've been planning for a while and be successful at it.
If you are romantically involved with a married superior, talk to his bosses about a transfer or resignation. It is better if you can avoid telling them about the affair, where it can lead to office gossip and chaos. You can make up reasons such as transferring to a new home in another city or looking for a better opportunity within the company.
Get a new life.
Moving forward in this kind of relationship will require you to erase him in your life for good. Never communicate with him again, make sure to return all his gifts, and throw away all the things that remind you of him. Don't think of the person, and start living a better life.
Resist all forms of communication if he tries to get back to you. Block his number, delete him from your social media accounts, and erase all of his messages. Always remember why you are doing this – because the relationship is not right in any way. Put yourself in his wife's shoes - what would you do if you find him with another woman. If the married man you're having an affair with has kids, think of the pain that you can cause them from having a broken family. You don't want that for your own child, right?
This could be very hard, but always remember that you love yourself more.
Find a new romance.
Put in mind that he is not the only fish in the sea. Once you are ready to fall in love again, start mingling with single men - even in your new office! Having an affair with a married man at work can be traumatic, but it is possible to get the love and attention you deserve. This time, make sure that he is single and also ready to be in a serious relationship with you.
The growth of dating apps could be a good start if you are open to meeting a complete stranger and start dating. This could also be the best time to consider seeing other men that your family and friends have been pushing for you. You know that you are ready to love again if you don't feel any pain every time you remember him. If you find yourself laughing about the mistakes you did in the past, it is a sign that you have learned your lesson and never do it again.
There are two best options in moving on with this type of relationship: by loving yourself even more or by loving another man where you can give your full undivided attention. Getting involved with a married man at work can be very degrading of your worth as a woman, but it is never too late to redeem yourself. Love in the workplace is not impossible if you get involved with the right man that is worthy of the love you can give. Have you imagined being in love with your single colleague and be inspired to be at work every day?
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