My Boyfriend Is Cheating On Me: What should I do?
Whenever we hear about cheating, it feels like it is a plot of a movie or TV series. From Mexican 'telenovelas', Korean dramas, and even to Hollywood (like Indecent Proposal, starring Demi Moore) - these shows would usually unravel how the characters will discover the affair and how to deal with it. What if it happened in real life? What if you are the protagonist of your own storyline? What should you do if your own boyfriend is cheating on you?
Knowing the truth
As the popular quote, there are no secrets that can be hidden forever. Once you get suspicions and confirmed that your boyfriend is having a secret affair, the first thing you need to know is how to confront him. Instead of crying or getting angry, know the right questions and how to ask them. Make sure that you are ready to hear whatever he might say. Being unprepared can make the conversation unclear with questions left unanswered.
Ask your boyfriend if he is really cheating on you - if you are not sure. Have you seen him being sweet with someone? What if he just catching up with a long lost girl best friend? The possibilities are endless, but make sure you ask the right questions and he is willing to give proof once asked for it. If he admits to the relationship, learn to manage your emotions. Give him a chance to explain himself, but never take the blame.
Dealing with emotions
Yes, it is okay to feel the pain. Partners are meant to be loyal and trust each other. If the love story you dreamed of went downhill, cry if you want or learn how to release whatever emotions you feel inside. There are coping mechanisms that can help you lessen the pain you feel while improving yourself along the process. One of the best things to do is by spending time with friends and family where you can feel that they support and love you.
Controlling defense mechanisms
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Sometimes, people that are cheated takes the blame on why their partner did it. Remind yourself that he decides to cheat on you, and you never allowed him to do it. This is the best time for you to take care of yourself instead of getting even. You can be happy being single, and realize that it is better to give attention to your own needs.
To get back with him or not?
Before deciding whether to continue with the relationship, take time to analyze the decision you have to make. Some people see cheating as one of the extreme 'sins' in a relationship. If he did it once, your boyfriend can do it again. Some people will never want to get back to their partner who cheated on them.
Some believe that "Fool me once, shame on you. Doing it again will put the shame on me". They would give their man another chance to see if he can change. If he has cheated on you for the third time and you decided to get back together, it will help If you picture the relationship in the long term. Are you prepared to deal with extramarital affairs, especially if there are children involved? A loving husband would always make his wife happy in the ways he can.
Forgiveness
Whatever you decided on, it is important to leave the past behind. You can forgive but never forget all of the lessons you've learned. Be ready to let go of some stuff that you share - it may be a pet or shared properties.
If the both of you decided to get back together, remember to restore that trust he had lost. Give your boyfriend a chance to prove himself to you again. Have a one on one talk to discuss how he can make it better this time. Make him realize that this could be the last chance you can give to him.
Dealing with heartbreak will never be easy. Realizing all of the pain you've felt, including the time and emotions you have invested. It will never be easy to get over him or to rebuild the trust that was broken. It is better to practice giving self-love even if you are in a relationship, as a reminder that you get to love yourself even if he leaves you for someone else.
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